my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
