I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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