just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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