ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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