you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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