Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
