Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
