dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
