I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
