no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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