Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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