my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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