I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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