Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
