nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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