all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
