I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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