After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
