im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
