called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
