..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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