is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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