Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She said her name was "party"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize