Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize