so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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