Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
