We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
