R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
lol hangovers are for mortals.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
