if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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