we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Then you guys just all showered together...?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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