you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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