Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
In America we eat man semen.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
