i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize