This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
