Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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