Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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