I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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