O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
