oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
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