oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
