I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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