you didnt know i had herpes?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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