just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
