Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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