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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to

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• (415): View more from California

  I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.

  (415): View more from California

  Watch for tornadoes.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year

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• (281): View more from Texas

  You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.

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• (626): View more from California

  Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.

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• (510): View more from California

  I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  You truly are a temple of morality.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  and then she asked if she could shave my junk

  (443): View more from Maryland

  and howd that go?

  (623): View more from Arizona

  can you pick me up from the hospital?

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers

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