the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize