Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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