Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
