I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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