Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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