is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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