Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
