but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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