Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize