White coat. Heels.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
