You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
