just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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