What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
