ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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