my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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