For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
