sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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