The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize