I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
