i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
